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September 18, 2022

This post doesn’t have title, because there’s no coherence in the post today. It’s just a random blob of thoughts.

There are days when you have your issues, moments, happiness and activities, but then there are some days, lazy ones where something (a moment, a movie, a story, anything or maybe nothing) triggers you to think something about life.

It was this movie called Nine Days. And maybe it wasn’t a great movie, or maybe even a stupid movie. But just like any art, it’s not what about it is, but how it makes you feel, think, believe or express.

We humans are like those magnets who can only attract and catch specific type of alloys based on the state we are in or what we are going through. That’s exactly why it’s not just the event, but also the context that matters. In programming term, it’s a function that requires context as an argument; a stateful system.

This is not a movie review, but may contain some spoilers. It’s about an interviewer who takes interviews of few candidates to decide which one of them should take a birth on earth. And it makes you think about what kind of person you are, what life means to you, your best moment you’d want to re-live among some other things. One of the candidate was a survivor, he knew the end goal was to pass the exam, and would answer based on what he thought he was expected to answer (classic real-life like candidate), the other one was someone who had fear of failure, but had a soul of a curious kid, someone who wanted to enjoy the experience.

It did remind of one of the analogies I may have talked about in one of my past posts.

There are multiple types of gamers.

  • A gamer who just wants to try the game out to see if it’s as fun as people claim
  • A gamer who wants to beat everyone, get high score, complete levels for personal satisfaction
  • A gamer who wants to explore every bit of game, and enjoy the play while still trying to complete the levels and gather achievements
  • A gamer who wants to become best at this game for external reason (prize money, challenge etc)

Knowing the fact that game doesn’t have any value other than entertainment, I’m the kind of gamer who’d even make wrong moves on random occasions only to ensure there’s surprise element for other players.

But in this game of life, the only thing I know is it’s the only one I have, and it is what it is. Hence, the purpose of life has been a constant dilemma for me since forever.

Just living by my instincts without thinking would make me an animal, and making decisions just based on the repercussions would make me a robot. I know it’s all about balance, but what is that balance which can be called human?

Unfortunately, I kind of know the answer as well. Human is what a specific species called Homo Sapiens does collectively, that’s what defines humanity I guess. So, the concept of humanity 50 years later may look a bit different than now.

People would say you’re free to do whatever you want, but that isn’t always true, is it? There are some falls you know you probably might survive, but aren’t sure if your family or loved ones could. It doesn’t even have to be something huge, it could be as innocuous as leaving a job for a while or trying out a start-up or moving to a different city or country.

The common and probably correct answer to whether you should do X or Y, or what’s your goal in life is “You do you”. But what are “you”, wasn’t that the question in the first place?

P.S. For people who might think this post doesn’t have anything new, isn’t conclusive, edited and is redundant apologies for wasting your time, I was just being “me”. 😛

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